mom-mode post # 85 - on momfessions

Inspired by this post by my friend Sheila. Perfectionism has long been my middle name and now more than ever I struggle with the high expectations I set for my self. So in an effort to just let go and remind myself that there's not such thing as the perfect mom and wife, here are my momfessions:

1. I have half a cheese quesadilla for lunch almost everyday. Call it stuck in a rut lunch, I call it an easy way to fill me up.

2. I feel guilty when my baby doesn't nap  right on cue. Or that I still rock him to sleep. But he is a baby, not an exact science and I'm finally OK with that. Besides I love the extra snuggles I get when I hold his sleepy little body in my arms.

3. I often pretend I don't understand the local language when locals tell me to put socks on my baby when it is 100 degrees outside ( or insert any other cultural custom here). Would this be considered lying? I call it surviving.

4. I've gone to bed having forgotten to brush my teeth only to remember it right as I'm falling asleep. Some days I don't get back up.

5. I envy those moms that snapped right back into shape after the baby and wonder why I have to work twice as hard to get everything back? Then I'm reminded of my genetics and how it's always been this way when it comes to losing weight.

6. My windows are probably the dirtiest in all of my building. I just haven't had the guts (or the time nor the will) to prop myself up on the window seal to clean them.

And I'll end like my friend Sheila did:

I’m not sure why I’m telling you all of this.  Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest.  I’m not the perfect woman, and I don’t think I mind all that much.

mom-mode post # 84 - on father's day

To my daddy - Who is far away today. And it is not even "Father's Day" in Brazil today. But I celebrate you today. We have been through thick and thin and I'll always think of you when I hear Steve Wonder's song: "I just called to say I love you". Today I just wrote to say I love you. We celebrated you today. O is blessed to have a vovo like you.

To my dad-in-law - Who is also far away today. You've modeled what it means to be a Godly man to my husband. You've raised him to be the same. You've taken me as your own daughter. Your hard-work to provide for your family all these years is so admirable and inspiring. We celebrate you today. O is blessed to have a gramps like you.

To hubby - O's daddy. Back in our dating days I knew you were going to be a great daddy. But I have to say that the day Oliver was born you've exceeded all and any expectations I had. I am so blessed to be together with you in this parenting journey. And if it's possible I love you even more now that I've seen you as O's daddy. O and I are blessed beyond measure to have you as the leader of our little family. We celebrate you today.

mom-mode post 83 - on cheering for mommy's team

                                                         It's the world cup and it's a big deal.

mom-mode post #81 - on flying with a baby

I could not have asked for a better traveling companion. He kept me busy just enough to keep me from getting bored, he gave me space when I needed to get things done and he slept when I needed to rest...
Baby O behaved like a seasoned traveler.
The first leg of the trip, a one-hour flight. O slept through the whole thing.
Then, a lay over a JFK. O felt all cozy in his stroller and slept like a baby. Allowing me to go from Delta counter to Delta counter trying to get a bulkhead seat, so O could have a bassinet on the plane. Also allowing me to make a quick stop-over at Chili's for  deliciously juicy bacon cheeseburger. Yay for not losing baby pounds. I guess I just couldn't pass that up.
Needless to say, the Delta people were less than helpful, leaving it up to me to arrange that bulkhead seat. I think I must've shed a tear or two out of shear desperation. How was I going to fly with my 3 month-old baby for 9 hours ( and some) without having a place to put him down to sleep?
I got on the plane, baby in tow and the flight attendant were very helpful, asking me what I needed. I promptly said: a bulkhead seat, please.  They said they would help me by asking whoever had that seat to change with me. Three young guys had those seats. They were traveling together and were ready to enjoy each other's company. I KNOW I ruined their trip when I asked to change seats... His first response was a simple no. So appealed to begging: sad puppy eyes, holding my baby, slightly crying voice: you see sir, I'm traveling alone with my baby and I need that seat so they can attach a little bed for my baby to sleep... The flight attendant added: and you get free drinks for being nice! And just like that our smoothest trip as of date started.
O quickly fell asleep right after dinner was being served. The kind flight attendants brought my dinner afterwards and I enjoyed a calm quiet flight. O woke up thirsty minutes before we landed and offered up smiles to everyone around us.
Things were going down without a glitch until O's pants started to leak... A quick trip to the bathroom quickly solved that. And off we were to customs, baggage claim and our dashing hubby and daddy's arms.

mom-mode post # 101 - on flying

You may think I'm crazy, but yes, I took my 3 month-old on a transatlantic trip. As life would have it, we had to take an unexpected trip to America to take care of some of my citizenship process.  The Lord worked out the timing so I could fly back with the grandparents and experience traveling with O before I have to do it all on my own on the way back.

Baby O did great. Sleeping through most of our long flight. He liked the little bassinet and really only cried a few times. I went in with the mentality that I wouldn't worry about his feeding schedule and would just go with the flow. That eased my mind whenever he got too fussy and the only way to calm him was by feeding him. That kept me and everybody else on the plane sane.

Security procedures was another story though... They make you take the baby out of the stroller, fold the stroller up, go through the detector with your baby, put your baby back in the stroller so they can scan just you, etc, etc. If I didn't have his grandparents with me, I would have lost my mind. Here's to hoping (and fervently praying) that the way back will go down without a glitch.

Thank you Gram and Granps for keeping me mentally sound on what has probably been my biggest undertaking as a new mom.

My next BIG undertaking: jet lagged baby. But that deserves a post all on its own.

mom-mode post # 90 - on shot day

My baby got three shots today. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I never thought I was going to be the mom that cries whenever her baby gets shots. I've never been the crying type. You know, the weddings are beautiful- "the notebook" was awesome - goodbyes are awful - crying type. I usually take the "tough it up" approach. I cope with things easier that way ( I was nicknamed "ice queen" back in high school, but that's a story for another day). Needless to say, ever since becoming a mother, the nickname couldn't be farther from the truth. And the "tough it up" approach doesn't seem so pertinent anymore.

After the medicine wore off, he cried. And cried. Until his little face was red and his little voice was hoarse. I held him ever so closely and could not fight the tears falling from my very eyes. I sat right next to his crib until his little body drifted heavily into sleep. I cried a little more. I sat down with a cup of coffee after it was all said and done and could feel the stress melt off my body. He may still wake up in pain tonight. But I'm praying he will sleep right through it all. Just another day in the life of discovering motherhood.

Moms tell you about days like this. My mom certainly did. And do I dare say it, I have a deeper appreciation for my own mama now.
At the risk of making this blog sound like one of those cheesy, sentimental 'forward' pps presentations, the often quoted 'before I was a mom' poem did say it better than what I am trying to say. Here's an excerpt: 
"Before I was a Mom;
I never thought about immunizations,
I never held a screaming child so the doctors could give shots,
I never looked into teary eyes and cried,
I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt ...

Before I was a Mom;
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down,
I never sat up late hours of the night watching a baby sleep,
I never got up in the middle of the night to make sure everything was okay,
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby...

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body,
I didn't know that having something so small could make me feel so
important,
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a mom."

I leave you with a picture of a happier day than today. Isn't he a cutie pie?

mom-mode # 46 - on mother's day

                                Hubby surprised me with a sweet get-away and the cutest photo book ever.


I remember how I felt the first night at the hospital. Overwhelmed at the fact that this tiny little being was solely dependent upon me for survival. Little old me, all stitched up and still numb from surgery. Little old me, never-babysat-much and clumsy. Little old me, a mommy.
Almost three months go by and we are celebrating my first mother's day. I'm now an, hum, "experienced" mother. Realizing that little old me was whom God chose to take care of this precious little guy. And boy, am I ever so blessed, so thrilled, so in love with our little family. I love my hubby even more and have a greater appreciation for him now that I've seen him as a daddy. And ever since that first night at the hospital, I've come to appreciate being my little guy's sole source of nourishment ( at least for now).
It was after a long night of being up with him, I found console in this quote ( I can't remember where I got it)

Heed this warning – I urge you to cherish every bleary eyed mid-night diaper change and feed as they are but a tiny portion of this parenting journey but just so special. Just as the kids start sleeping through the night those dark, quiet cuddles come to an end. Soak it all in.

And I am. I am soaking it all in.

( Oliver and I couldn't get a good picture together on mother's day. Either my eyes were closed, or he had a frown, or my hair was a mess... So we'll try to take some pics together soon)