mom-mode post # 90 - on shot day

My baby got three shots today. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I never thought I was going to be the mom that cries whenever her baby gets shots. I've never been the crying type. You know, the weddings are beautiful- "the notebook" was awesome - goodbyes are awful - crying type. I usually take the "tough it up" approach. I cope with things easier that way ( I was nicknamed "ice queen" back in high school, but that's a story for another day). Needless to say, ever since becoming a mother, the nickname couldn't be farther from the truth. And the "tough it up" approach doesn't seem so pertinent anymore.

After the medicine wore off, he cried. And cried. Until his little face was red and his little voice was hoarse. I held him ever so closely and could not fight the tears falling from my very eyes. I sat right next to his crib until his little body drifted heavily into sleep. I cried a little more. I sat down with a cup of coffee after it was all said and done and could feel the stress melt off my body. He may still wake up in pain tonight. But I'm praying he will sleep right through it all. Just another day in the life of discovering motherhood.

Moms tell you about days like this. My mom certainly did. And do I dare say it, I have a deeper appreciation for my own mama now.
At the risk of making this blog sound like one of those cheesy, sentimental 'forward' pps presentations, the often quoted 'before I was a mom' poem did say it better than what I am trying to say. Here's an excerpt: 
"Before I was a Mom;
I never thought about immunizations,
I never held a screaming child so the doctors could give shots,
I never looked into teary eyes and cried,
I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt ...

Before I was a Mom;
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down,
I never sat up late hours of the night watching a baby sleep,
I never got up in the middle of the night to make sure everything was okay,
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby...

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body,
I didn't know that having something so small could make me feel so
important,
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a mom."

I leave you with a picture of a happier day than today. Isn't he a cutie pie?